


Tricks of the Mind

by cas50



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, ZADE, ZADF, back to Enemies, no zadr, red has 20 wisdom and 0 intelligence, tallest subplot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-07 21:21:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cas50/pseuds/cas50
Summary: Zim hatched a new plan to find Dib's weaknesses to exploit and defeat him once and for all, but neither of them expect the irken himself to be one of them. Meanwhile, the Tallest's secret starts to unravel, which might lead to the Empire's demise.





	1. Curiosity Captured The Dib

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I've had for a while now. I hope I do it justice with my amateur writing skills and terribly imitated character dialogue! I'm sorry if it seems underdeveloped. I don't know how long this fic will be, nor do I have a set uploading schedule. I guess continuing it just depends on how much people like it, so be sure to leave a quick review! It's always appreciated. Enjoy!
> 
> [Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any characters associated with it.]

Anyone sees what they want to see. Red found this out really early on in his smeethood. It helped that he was in the same classes as _Zim_. The one good thing that the tiny Irken had done for Red was help him understand this fact. As a smeet, Red made friends with many, but Purple was his favorite. Perhaps it was the fact they were both named after colors, or maybe it was because they were activated at the same time. To Red, it didn't matter. They were inseparable. Purple saw a world where he ruled as Tallest, as many do. Red smiled and encouraged his friend (although as they grew older he bullied Purple more often than not), but he saw through the world that Purple built up around his eyes, just as Zim—and many others—had done.

After all, how would an Irken without legs become the Tallest?

\---

It had been another boring Skool day. 

Dib sat in his seat, stealing glances at Zim’s desk to the right of him. The alien was staring blankly at the teacher, resting a gloved hand on his cheek. _No doubt plotting,_ Dib mused, his eyes narrowing. Their teacher was replaced by a substitute today, who had basically just given them a worksheet and called it a day. Dib had finished it in three minutes, and started absentmindedly doodling on the back. Zim had taken a bit longer, but finished it nonetheless and Dib watched intently as the alien stood up and turned in his paper. On the way back, Zim quickly swiped Dib’s paper off of the desk and into his gloved hands, smirking as he studied the worksheet.

“Haven’t finished yet, Dib-stink?” He said teasingly as he looked at the answers. 

“Hey, give that back!” Dib yelled angrily, reaching for the paper as the alien pulled it out of his reach.

Zim caught a glance of the doodles as Dib pushed forward and grabbed the worksheet back. “You really captured my good side, haven’t you, human pig?” He snorted, walking back to his desk without waiting for a response. 

“That’s it, space boy! Tell me what you’re planning right now!” Dib yelled, and the class went silent, paying attention to the boy’s sudden outburst. Zim grinned evilly, an opportunity opening up.

“You know it’s my turn to pick the date, sweetie,” he said loudly, for the whole class to hear. Dib growled in anger, his face turning red as the class laughed. A couple of them even catcalled. 

“If you must know, follow me home after school.” Zim said, his ‘innocent’ grin still plastered on his face. 

“Why would I _ever_ want to do that? For all I know, it’s a trap!” Dib hissed.

“You know you want to,” was the only answer the irken offered, the bell ringing shortly after. Dib scowled as Zim got up and left. 

Dib knew the irken was playing mind games with him, but the more he dwelt on it, the more he wanted to go. 

_It’s a trap. It’s so painfully obvious it’s a trap. But if I don’t go, there’ll be no one to stop him, and he’ll take over the world! I have to go, it’s my duty! The fate of our planet depends on it!_ Dib felt content on the choice he made, and packed up his things, trying to catch up to his alien classmate. 

Dib kept a good 10 feet between him and Zim once he caught up. The irken knew he was there, of course; his impeccable hearing made it possible. The walk had been in complete silence, and, to an outside observer, nothing had been out of the ordinary. However, anyone could feel the amount of hatred and distrust that both equally radiated for miles. As the irken neared his poor imitation of a human home, Dib noticed a small change in his movement, and his eyes narrowed. _Did he just press a button?_

“Did you just press a button?” Dib asked, knowing full well the alien heard him. He quickly closed the distance between the two, and soon enough he stood at the fenced entrance. The irken elite was right in front of him, continuing to the door.

“Silly human filth, the button press was to allow you in without triggering an intruder alert,” Zim chuckled. He entered his house, and Dib followed cautiously, keeping his eyes on all the known objects that had shot lasers at him at one point. _Get inside his base, see what he’s planning, and escape. I know it’s a trap, so I can’t be taken by surprise. Therefore I have the upper hand!_

The familiar household was just as he remembered; the eerie decorations depicting what seemed almost-human, like a real life toddler’s drawing. A robot was sleeping soundly on the couch. _GIR,_ Dib remembered. He looked back to Zim, who was now out of his disguise. Dib never forgot how much the alien unsettled him without his disguise. He felt a small tug of terror in his chest every time he saw Zim, or any other irkens for that matter. 

“Well, are you just going to stand there? Follow me,” the elite spat, annoyed. 

“Why are you allowing me in here?” Dib asked, genuinely curious. He figured that the trap would be at the main entrance. 

“What, you _don’t_ want to see what I’m working on?” The alien mused, a small grin on his face. 

“No, I do, but… why haven’t you trapped me yet? I thought this was a trap?” Dib asked as a table lifted up to reveal a platform—one of the many elevators Zim had in his house. Both him and the alien got onto it, and Dib felt uncomfortably close to him. _He could kill me at any time, and no one would find me down here,_ he realized, and the thought haunted him as they began their descent.

“Heh heh, foolish human,” Zim chuckled. Dib was angry he wasn’t giving any answers. At this point the need to know what was going on was gnawing on him, and he had to find out what was going on _right now._

“Zim, I swear to god—” the elevator abruptly stopped and Zim instantly marched out, avoiding whatever the boy was about to say. “Hey!” Dib yelled indignantly, trailing the alien. Zim led the way into a big open chamber with a chair in the middle, something Dib thought was very familiar. He gasped, his eyes wide when it dawned on him.

“The simulation chamber-thingy!” Dib turned to leave, but wires came out of the walls, grabbing him and lifting him up. 

“Surprise, Dib-smelly! It’s a trap!” Zim spoke proudly.

“I.. knew it was a trap though.” Dib said, slightly confused.

“SILENCE! You know nothing, human!” Zim yelled, before turning to the chair. The wires that held Dib followed, setting him down on the chair and holding him as the irken closed the cuffs on the boy’s hands and feet. 

“Okay, but why attempt to act like you’re inviting me to see what you’re planning when you could’ve just caught me and brought me down here instead?” Dib asked as he struggled against the cuffs. 

“Truly pathetic. I figured you would’ve followed me no matter what I said, even if I was blatant in the fact that it was a trap. Humans and their.. _curiosity,_” the irken explained, spitting out the last word like it tainted his mouth as he spoke it. “You couldn’t help it, and I saved a lot of effort trying to transport you down here otherwise! I bet even now you’re wondering what I’m going to do you!” Zim laughed intensely as he walked over to the terminal. 

“Put me in a simulation?” Dib offered, knowing it would get the alien riled up.

“Not only put you in a simulation,” Zim growled, pausing as he started dragging wires back to where Dib sat, “But use the simulation to find your weaknesses! It’s GENIUS!” The irken had a grin plastered on his face the entire time he was hooking up cords to the boy. Dib was, to put it simply, scared. _How am I going to get out of this?_ Dib could feel the final wire getting attached to his brain, and glared at Zim as the irken started walking back to the terminal.

“You’ll pay for this, Zim! I’ll get out, and when I do, you’ll pay!” He spoke with malice, trying in one final attempt to break free of the cuffs. It was no use; they were strong electromagnets. Nothing could break them apart.

“Eh? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over my VICTORY!!” Zim cackled. “Now, to turn this machine on, and plunge you into endless nightmares!” 

He pressed a button, and everything exploded.


	2. Proceed to Med Bay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!! Already more kudos than expected, thanks everyone who read chapter one! As promised, here’s the second chapter. I like to think Red used to be competent, but as he grew into his role as the Tallest he became more used to having things done for him and became the Red we know and love today. Anyway, enjoy!

Dib woke up to the smell of smoke. He tried to get up, but ended up doubling over coughing. The smoke burned his lungs, and he could feel immense pain in his right shoulder as he coughed. After a few minutes, he slowly sat up and leaned against a piece of debris. After testing his shoulder, he realized it was badly sprained. 

_What just happened?_

The boy looked around at the rubble, noting that the entrance was open and seemingly untouched. Whatever had caused the explosion had only damaged this room. He could make a run for it if he wanted to. He really did want to.

“Fire extinguished,” a deep, disembodied voice rang throughout the room. Dib recognized this as Zim’s computer AI. “Scan completed. Proceed to med bay.” Dib was confused.

“Scan? What scan?” He questioned, worried this was another one of the irken’s schemes. 

“In event of technical malfunction, each life form in the vicinity will be biologically scanned as per safety protocol. Please proceed to med bay,” The computer explained with a hint of annoyance present in his voice.

“Wait, you have scans of me? That’s a violation of my privacy! Delete those!” Dib exclaimed, slowly standing up. 

“Access denied. Proceed to med bay.”

“Alright, alright, I get it!” Dib said, annoyed. “I don’t even know where the med bay is! I’m just gonna go home.”

“Negative. You must stay as per safety protocol. Life forms with rapidly declining vitals must be stabilized before anyone is allowed to leave. Please proceed to—”

“Wait, what?” Dib cut the computer off. _I’m fine, so does that mean…_ He hadn’t seen Zim anywhere. In fact, he was too dumbfounded by what had just taken place that he hadn’t even thought of the irken. He furrowed his eyes, contemplating. It meant one thing: Zim was dying. If he left Zim to die, the Earth would be saved at last. If he saved Zim, however, the irken elite would likely not appreciate it, or at the very worst continue to attempt world domination. Dib turned to leave, but a surprising feeling of guilt stopped him from going any further. _Why do I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing? I’m doing this for the sake of humanity!_ Dib didn’t want to admit it even to himself, but he couldn’t fathom a world without Zim. Not out of feelings of compassion, but out of dependency (and, to his disgust, respect). Zim had given him a reason to fight; a reason to continue believing in the impossible. Hell, the alien was living breathing proof that Dib wasn’t crazy. Alongside that, Dib needed to feel that he was important; that he wasn’t just a lonely crazy kid walking around in his dad’s shadow. In a way, his constant battles with Zim gave him a way to channel his anger and feel like he was worth something. He was sure Zim had felt the same, in a slightly different sense. 

So, after a long and hard internal battle between his instincts and his mental health, he turned around again, with a different intent. 

“Zim?”

—-

Being Tallest was great. Everyone brought them what they wanted, they never ran out of snacks, and they had full control of everything. Red especially liked the view as they destroyed and conquered planet after planet. He was content with his life. He hoped it would never change. 

The irken leaders were in their quarters, tucked away in the safest place possible in the Massive. Red had his Tallest uniform off, in its replacement he wore a red thermal robe. Purple was watching live feed of an invasion, stuffing popcorn into his mouth. He, too, was out of his uniform, with the same kind of robe, colored purple. The only difference was that Purple had his mechanical legs laying on the ground beside him. Red grinned, the legs reminding him of his amazing plan he pulled years ago, back when they were just about to graduate. 

** Flashback **

“Smeets! In just two days, you will all reach your Final Height. You will be assessed, and then given a list of duties you may fulfill, and then you are given a choice. Make sure to make up your mind, for a mere two hours after that, the Coding Ceremony will commence.” The smeet commander looked at Red with admiration. “You, Red. I have no doubt you’ll become Tallest if Almighty Tallest Miyuki ever falls. I hope you make us proud. Dismissed!” The commander leaves the irken equivalent of senior high schoolers to themselves, which was a bad move considering this group was about to graduate. One suggested a party in her living quarters, and suddenly everyone from that group was partying, drinking soda and eating junk food. This was likely the last time they’ll ever be allowed to eat junk food, depending on the jobs they’re allowed. 

Red stood relaxed against the wall as he watched his best friend partying with the rest. He knew the Control Brains wouldn’t allow a physically disabled irken to be in a place of power, or even as a field worker. Irkens with birth defects such as missing limbs were often assigned more expendable jobs. Red shuddered at the thought of Purple being assigned a kamikaze pilot. _What if… I assigned him something else? A sort of bootleg coding? Without a Control Brain…_ Red was glad he was the tallest of his class; his access to irken equipment was unparalleled. He knew most of the inner workings of a PAK, the only exception of course being how the PAKs are coded. Most irkens only knew basic repairs. 

One of the shorter classmates brought out what the human equivalent of beer was for irkens, only injected instead of drank. It was a drug that was used in large amounts to sedate an irken for surgery, or to stop a misbehaving smeet without terminating them. In small amounts, it suppressed their nervous system and relaxed them greatly, without being totally out of it. Red badly wanted some, but soon enough the Final Height party took a different turn, and Red had to drag Purple out of there before they were all arrested and evaluated. 

Leading Purple to their living quarters, Red hatched a plan. Smeets weren’t introduced to other classes until they graduated. That meant only 30 irkens, the commanders, Tallest Miyuki, and the Control Brains knew of Purple. About 50 irkens and AI all together. He went to his repair station, Purple trailing along, with about half a shot of the inebriating drug in his system. The taller irken detached his PAK, a familiar ticking of his lifeclock starting up. 

“What’re you doing?” Purple asked, confused.

“I’m going to give both of us what we deserve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going by a 5 kudos-per-chapter rule, chapter three is already promised. I might have to bump up the rule to 10 kudos-per-chapter. Reviews are always appreciated!!


	3. Panic! At the Med Bay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, chapter three! I literally know absolutely nothing about medical things, and to top it all off I don’t really proofread (once it’s all written and uploaded I’ll probably go back and make edits). I’m trying to keep these chapters to at least 1000 words long. Should they be longer? Let me know in a comment! Enjoy.

“Zim! Zim, where are you?” Dib yelled, digging through debris. “If you’re dead, I’ll show your body to the world,” he added as an incentive for the irken not to be dead. Then, suddenly to his left, he heard a soft, low voice he hadn’t heard before.

“Reactivating,” the voice said. _Reactivating? What does that mean? Is it Zim?_ Dib instantly took off towards the sound, nearly tripping over one of the wires that had been strapped to his head beforehand. As he neared where he heard the voice, he saw a faint blinking red light. Upon closer inspection, the light seemed to be coming from the top of Zim’s PAK; the irken elite laid still, face down. Dib’s already sinking chest plunged further when he saw a growing puddle around the small alien. _Blood._

Dib stood there frozen for a few seconds, processing the situation until the irken started coughing. Dib jumped at the sudden movement, and quickly knelt down to inspect the elite. A few pieces of shrapnel dug their way into the invader’s chest, but Dib quickly noticed they weren’t the source of all the blood. It was his left arm, or, rather, lack thereof. The boy went ghost-white as he realized that the explosion had totally ripped off the alien’s arm, right at the base. The heat had practically fused his uniform to his skin around the wound, and burn marks covered Zim’s entire left side. It was horrifying, and the smell of burnt skin and blood mixed together to make Dib’s stomach turn. He stepped back a small amount, shocked.

“Hey, uh.. Z-Zim’s computer?” Dib asked, not taking his eyes off the injured irken. “What do I do?”

“Proceed to med bay,” the computer repeated, sounding tired at this point. Dib nodded lightly, softly nudging Zim with his foot. 

“Hey, space boy. Can you hear me? You gotta go to your med bay.” After no response, Dib swallowed hard, and knelt down. “If you bite me, shoot me, or otherwise harm me while I do this, I won’t help you ever again,” he muttered, slowly taking off his coat and wrapping it around Zim’s torso so he didn’t lose as much blood. The irken hadn’t made any move to stop his nemesis; he just laid there, eyes shut tightly. The boy slowly picked Zim up, surprised at how light he was. 

“Uh, how do I get to the med bay?” Dib asked, walking towards the elevator entrance, focusing on not dropping Zim and not tripping on any debris. 

“Please enter the elevator,” was all the computer offered, and Dib sighed, knowing that was likely all the computer would tell him. As he stepped in the elevator, it instantly started going down. Dib was startled by the instant descent, and nearly dropped the injured invader. The ride down took less than a minute, and soon the doors opened again, showing a short hallway leading to some double doors. Both had irken writing Dib didn’t know how to read, but he assumed it said med bay, and made his way to them.

Once inside, he saw a decently sized room, foreign tools and machines lining the walls. A light pink examination table was right in the middle of it, and Dib could see that it doubled as an operating table. He also noticed a small dent in the table with a port in it that could fit his PAK so he could lay the irken straight on his back without discomfort, and he did just so. The PAK connected to the port with ease, and a screen to the right of him started reading off various data the PAK was sending. 

“What… what do I do now?” Dib asked, looking around for the disembodied voice of Zim’s computer. The computer audibly sighed out of annoyance, and the boy cocked an eyebrow.

“Do you request access to Zim’s diagnostics and recommended procedures to stabilize him?” The computer asked dryly.

“Uh.. yes?” Dib looked back at the screen, which was all in Irken. “In English, please,” he added, and the computer groaned.

“Request completed. Recommend procedure: put him on an IV, cauterize the arm, set the broken leg, dig out the shrapnel in his chest and bandage him, then apply burn cream to burn areas. In that order.” The computer paused. “Do you wish to start the procedure, or move to the next recommended one?” Dib stared blankly up at the computer. _I can’t do this! I’ve never cauterized a limb before! And his leg is broken too? Burns I can handle. Maybe even broken bones. Lost limbs is another thing entirely._ Dib looked at Zim again, the irken’s face twisted in pain. _I can’t believe that at one point I wanted him dead. This.. this is something no one should go through._ Dib looked back up with determination.

“Start the procedure.”

“Affirmative.” Wires released themselves from the walls, guiding an IV drip and the necessary tools needed directly to the boy. 

“Walk me through this, please,” Dib added, a little more insecure once he saw the alien tools. “As simple as possible.”

“Find a vein on his arm and insert the needle into it, then tape it so it stays in place.” Dib followed the instructions, starting to grow anxious. _I can’t do this. I can’t—I can’t help him. This is too much. He’s my enemy! He’ll try to take over the Earth again if I save him! The Earth will be safe forever if Zim was gone! I should—I should just leave him here! Or better yet, take him to the government!_ Dib stopped after he finished with the IV and stepped back, shaking slightly.

_This is my chance! I have to take it!_ The boy drops to his knees, his breathing becoming more irregular as panic sets in. _No! No creature deserves to suffer this much, not even someone who wants to destroy the planet! For all I know, it’s not his choice! He could be controlled by his kind, or even just following his instincts! His race might just be a predator to humans! He has a biological right to be here!_ Dib scowled at the ground. _Curse you, morals!_ he slowly but surely calmed himself, and stood back up. As he took deep breaths, he began to continue the procedure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for no Tallest this chapter! They’ll be back next time... if this story gets two comments! (In all honesty, I’ll probably write the next chapter regardless. I’m surprised at how much kudos I’ve gotten in such a short amount of time, and I’m motivated to finish this. Also I have nothing to do in these next two days.) Be sure to kudos and review, it’s much appreciated!


	4. The Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I’m just uploading chapters as I write them. Should I make a schedule? Probably. Oh well! Enjoy!

Dib didn’t notice when the invader slipped into unconsciousness, but the tired boy definitely did when he came to. It was right after he had finished the procedure, and the computer deemed the irken as stable. It started with screaming. Not Zim’s usual screaming, but something filled to the brim with pain and terror; something that echoed in Dib’s bones. 

“Computer, is there any sort of Irken sedative I can give him?” Dib asked as he rushed over to the alien, who was now coughing because of screaming too harshly. 

“Yes. Hold him down and administer this into his IV.” A wire held a tray with a small syringe in it, filled with a translucent purple liquid. Dib showed no hesitation, holding the irken down by the forehead and sticking the needle into the port in the IV tube. As it entered the alien’s bloodstream, Zim calmed down greatly. Dib sighed, releasing the hold he had on the elite, and turning to go sit back down on the floor against the wall where he had been sitting beforehand. As he took a step, he heard the slurred voice of the irken speak to him. 

“Youuu… take my.. organs?” Zim asked, almost completely out of it, but still worried. Dib turned around to face the alien again.

“No, Zim.”

“Whaaat ab—about… goverm..gov..” the alien’s eyes narrowed as he tried to pronounce the word. “F..BI,” he settled on, looking content for a second, and then looking back up at Dib with worry.

“No, Zim. You’re not being studied by the FBI, or any other government for that matter.”

“W…..whyy?” Zim questioned, looking at the boy with the largest amount of suspicion a semi-conscious sedated alien could express. At this, Dib sighed.

“I dunno. Morals, I guess? You probably don’t know what those even are, do you. It’s something most humans have, and sometimes they govern how we act in certain situations. It’s not like I can help it, my mind just tells me what is right and wrong. In this case, letting you die was wrong to me.” His eyes narrowed, and he looked away. “Even if it would’ve been for the betterment of Earth.”

“Weeeeird hyuuman..” Zim mumbled before closing his eyes again. 

—-

**Flashback**

Red started his plan instantly. If he couldn’t code Irkens by himself, then he could just push the Control Brains in the right direction. By getting in and editing the memory of the Control Brains, he could wipe Purple’s entry (specifically the note about his physical disability) and then set it to copy this information into any Irken it codes until it codes Purple. If he didn’t have it stop at Purple, the next time the Control Brain repair workers checked the codes, they’d find Red’s, and the jig would be up. 

Next, a quick change of the raster order was in place. He placed Purple as second to last, with himself being very last so he didn’t accidentally wipe his own memory. Then he made sure that his group was the very last to go, since the commander of the group was re-coded before their smeet group was. This took care of his group mates, the commanders, and the Control Brains, but he still had to find out how to evade Tallest Miyuki.

“Purple, come here,” Red called, placing his PAK back onto him. 

“Whaaat?” Purple asked, annoyed. “I’m busy with this doughnut.”

“This is much more important than doughnuts for once,” Red sneered smacking the pastry out of his friend’s hand. 

“Hey!” Purple grumbled indignantly, but he was still intrigued by Red’s words. _What was more important than a doughnut?_

Red explained his plan to Purple in full detail. Surprisingly, Purple had a plan for Tallest Miyuki. 

“What if we got the Brains to malfunction, causing them to latch onto our Tallest instead?” The purple irken suggested, sipping a soda. “It could postpone the ceremony for a few hours. We wouldn’t re-code her, just give her PAK the updated memory.”

“You’re a genius!” Red grinned, turning back to his terminal where he had accessed the Control Brain’s code. All he did was switch out Purple’s name for Miyuki, and it was done. During Purple’s encoding, Miyuki would be connected to the Control Brain’s instead. The repair crew would chalk it up to an error, and fix it like they fix any other error. They’d be trying to fix the issue as fast as possible so the ceremony could continue, and so Purple’s code would go undetected for the time being. Right after, Purple would get coded as next in line for Tallest, and soon after, Red.

It was a flawless plan.

—-

Zim woke up a second time that day, this time a lot calmer than the first. Dib had noticed his eyes open, and instantly went to his side.

“How do you feel?” The boy asked, genuinely curious.

“Terrible,” the alien grumbled, glancing around. “What did you do to me?”

“Like I said before, nothing. There was an accident, and I saved your life. No government, no spies, no harvesting your organs,” Dib sighed. He walked back to his spot and sat down, the alien following his every movement. 

“Why?” The amount of distrust in the irken’s question was larger than the amount of intrigue. “I thought you hated Zim. I thought we were enemies.”

“I don’t know! I’ve been asking myself the same thing!” Dib yelled, his eyes burning as tears started to form in the corners. “Maybe I need the adrenaline rush of saving the Earth to fill the void of my absent father? Maybe I actually am crazy? Maybe, somewhere in this messed up brain of mine, I respect you? Depend on you, even? If I didn’t stay focused on saving the Earth from you all the time, the constant teasing and abuse I got from my classmates and even my own sister would’ve gotten to me.” Dib was crying freely now. Zim just stared at him, his large, fuchsia eyes wide. “Maybe I owe you my life?” His voice cracked, and he started to sob. 

“Uh..” Zim started, not sure what to say. “Computer?”

“Yes?”

“Stop the simulation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, cliffhanger! Be sure to kudos if you want to motivate me to write the next chapter! Reviews are greatly appreciated as well :)


	5. Jig’s and Ravioli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be completely honest, this was my favorite chapter to write so far. I didn’t expect to even be continuing this. Don’t worry, I have an ending in mind! I expect it to be about 10 chapters, give or take a couple. Enjoy!

The next thing Dib knew was that he was sitting in a chair. He slowly opened his eyes to see large fuchsia ones only an inch from his own.

“You really meant that,” Zim stated incredulously. Dib realized he was back in the simulation room. Both of them were completely unharmed. Dib just stared at the alien in disbelief, before reeling back and full on decking him in the face.

“You.. that wasn’t real? None of that was real?” Dib yelled, his previous feelings completely replaced with rage. “You monster!” The alien had recoiled from the punch, and continued to move back just as the boy walked forward. 

“Eh.. sorry?” Zim offered, backing into the wall. “Let Zim explain—”

“EXPLAIN?” Dib cut him off, throwing another punch but missing. “This is your lowest blow yet! That wasn’t even attempting to take over the world, that was just torturing me! That’s all the explanation I need!” The boy yelled, preparing for a third attack. Zim caught on and ducked, extending his PAK legs and making a beeline towards the elevator. 

“The simulation was to find your weaknesses, Dib! I fully expected you to kill me off!” Zim yelled, climbing up the elevator shaft with his legs. Dib followed using the elevator, set on beating up his nemesis.

“Whatever! How do I know this isn’t a simulation right now?!” Dib questioned angrily. “Any sort of trust I had in you is gone, space monster! Give up; I’m going to expose you right now!” Zim climbed into an opening, Dib jumping after him, and he chased the alien all the way to Zim’s storage room. He was cornered.

“Eh.. stop! Your uh.. morals command you!” Zim yelled as a vain attempt to get the boy to falter. This was the wrong thing to say. Dib growled and punched at the irken; the PAK legs kept him safe and out of reach.

“Get down here and fight me you coward!” Dib screeched, jumping and grabbing Zim’s legs, pulling him down. 

“GET OFF OF ZIM!” The alien screamed, trying to kick his way out of the hold Dib had on him. There they both struggled, trying to get the upper hand, resorting to dirty tricks like pulling hair and biting. 

“GIR! Get down here and help me!!” Zim yelled into a device that extended from his PAK while simultaneously kicking at the boy that wouldn’t let go of him. Seconds later, the small robot appeared, usual cyan eyes red and focused. The robot grabbed Dib and pried him from GIR’s master before his eyes changed back.

“Yous want a hug?” The intense robot asked, hugging Dib tightly in place. “Yous want some ravioli with your hug???” GIR’s head opened up to reveal it full of ravioli.

“Great job, GIR! Now, human, you have to listen to what I say, or face the wrath of the ravioli!” Zim spoke, regaining his composure. “Like I said, I expected you to kill the almighty me, or at least leave me to die. You then would’ve returned to your life before you met me, and I would’ve found all your itty bitty filthy human weaknesses!” Zim looked away, almost ashamed. “And then use them to exploit you. However now I see this is not the way to approach things.”

“So you agree with me, you monster!” Dib writhed in his spot, the robot’s arms still wrapped around him tightly. 

“SILENCE! Because I manipulated you to share your deepest feelings, and you’re now about an inch taller than me, it is only fair if I do the same. Irken etiquette, I suppose.”

“What the hell does that even mean? You’ll share your ‘deepest feelings’ because I’m taller now? I thought you didn’t have any deep feelings.”

“LIES!”

“But.. that’s what you just said.”

“SHUT UP and let Zim talk!” The alien started pacing. “I’m only doing this because.. I.. This was not the direction I intended this to go, and Zim always corrects his mistakes!” The alien nodded to himself, continuing. “Anyhow, I haven’t heard from the Tallest in months, and they couldn’t possibly have forgotten their finest invader! Perhaps..” the irken rambled on about how great he was and how his leaders just must’ve forgotten to check in. Dib knew he was just spouting nonsense and turned to the robot that held him captive.

“Hey, you wanna let me go?” He asked, voice lowered. 

“Nooooo. I like hugs.” The insane robot clutched him tighter. “Yous want some ravioli???”

“No thanks. Hey, you know who loves ravioli? Zim,” Dib lied, nodding towards the irken. The robot grinned happily.

“Really? Why didn’t yous say so, master?” He practically yelled, letting go of Dib and running to Zim, the ravioli sloshing around dangerously in his head. Dib got up as the robot tripped, causing the contents to spill all over the irken.

“GIR YOU IDIOT, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ZIM?” The elite screamed, trying to scrape sauce out of his eyes. Dib snickered and headed to the elevator, deciding he should make his leave. _I’ll get revenge someday, Zim._ The boy confidently walked past the gnomes and headed back to his house, not surprised that it was dark out. He was tired.

_Someday._

—-

Red and Purple were playing video games in their pajamas when an Irken Pilot busted into their room unannounced.

“Sirs, there’s a—” the Pilot stopped short, staring wide eyed at the two. 

“GET OUT,” Red yelled, standing up. “Didn’t you ever learn to knock? I’ll have you re-coded for this!” As the Pilot left, Purple laughed suddenly.

“We should give him an Existence Evaluation. I love those,” the purple leader suggested, laughing again. Red grinned. 

“Great idea. Computer? Schedule an EE for that pilot that was just here. Do it in 30 minutes. We got nothing else to do today.”

The Massive slowly changed course, heading towards the planet Judgementia. After a short flight, they reached their destination. The Control Brains there had been replaced since Zim’s.. failure, and since then an evaluation hasn’t taken place. Many irkens were excited to watch this one, even if it was a random pilot, and the crowd piled in. The two leaders, dressed and ready for the EE, slowly descent on a large platform. This got the crowd going, and the two waved as people cheered and chanted. 

“Welcome to the first Existence Evaluation since Zim!” Red yelled to the crowd, which cheered even louder at the mention of the infamous irken. 

“Sadly,” Purple spoke up, “Zim’s not here today. We don’t dare do this to him again,” he snorted, “not after last time.” The crowd laughed and cheered, and the purple leader was content with the reaction he got.

“Alright, settle down now,” Red spoke, waving at the crowd. “Today we evaluate that guy! Uh, whatever his name is!” The lone irken pilot stood in front of large screens, Control Brain’s looming over him. 

“Irken Massive Pilot Zeb,” the middle Brain started, “prepare for replay.”

“Ooh, this is my favorite part,” Purple squeaked, pointing to the cord that snaked its way around to the back of the pilot’s PAK. The screens lit up with memories, 90% of them being just looking at a screen and steering the ship. 

“This is boring, I wanna see us,” Red whined, looking at the Control Brain. “Access the latest memory of us. When he burst into our room without permission.”

“Fast forwarding.” The screens lit up, showing a big royal-like door. The door was opened, showing the Tallest in their pajamas. The scene froze, and the entire crowd gasped.

There on the screen for all to see, was Purple with his mechanical legs. Red cursed under his breath, trying to make the platform head back to the Massive. Purple looked around, worried.

The jig was up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two plots are happening at the same time, by the way! Except the flashbacks, of course. This next chapter requires.. YOUR UNDYING LOYALTY TO ME! Just kidding, there’s no requirement to reach before I write the next chapter, as I’m already working on it. Hope you enjoyed so far! :)


	6. Where Do Your Loyalties Lie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday I was watching Invader Zim and I got to “The Dibship” and in that scene where it shows the clock that says 1:11am I thought it would be funny to see what time it was in real life and when I checked it was 1:11am!! My heart was racing I was so spooked. Anyway, enjoy this new chapter that has nothing to do with that little story!

Zim laid sprawled on the floor, tuning out his robot’s loud, disturbingly wet munching. They were on the main floor where GIR had insisted they ‘hung out.’ Luckily for Zim, the robot’s version of hanging out was sitting on the couch gnawing on a foot long stick of salami while watching 12 hours straight of whatever the channel was on at the time, leaving the alien to contemplate to himself. The irken was lost in thought; his plan to stop Dib once and for all took an odd turn that he was still trying to figure out. He didn’t care a whole lot about what he had done—for he’s done much worse to the human before—but he did feel bad that he finally pushed Dib to his breaking point. Maybe if he had done this right after he met the human, it wouldn’t have gone wrong, but after knowing each other for years now Zim felt the ever so smallest twinge of regret. After all, the human _had_ tried to save the elite when he thought he was in danger, something that Zim never thought would happen. 

Maybe it was a byproduct of their evolving relationship. A relationship that, upon closer inspection, had been changing ever since they first met. A dependency that started out as a rivalry. A pure hatred turned into mutual respect as time went on. Zim had needed this dynamic just as much as Dib, because otherwise he’d be stuck here on Earth, abandoned by his people. With Dib’s challenge he could hold on to the world he built around him, just as Dib had done. It wasn’t like either of them consciously did this; it was a survival instinct at this point. 

_Curse that filthy human and his ability to make me feel guilt!_ Zim sat up suddenly, frustrated. _Oh well, I have bigger problems now. The Dib is undoubtedly going to try and take his revenge; I must work on securing the base!_ The irken stood up, determined, and started marching toward one of his many secret entrances.

“Where you goin?” GIR asked with a sad tone in his voice. 

“To prepare for The Dib,” Zim announced as he continued toward the trash can.

“But.. we’s were hangin out!” The robot whined, starting to cry. 

“I have no patience to tolerate your antics today, GIR.”

“But…” the robot was wailing now. Zim facepalmed. 

“Fine. Come along,” the irken sighed, and GIR instantly switched from crying to squealing in happiness. The duo went down to one of the main labs, GIR easily distracted by a plush moose that Zim kept in the elevator specifically for that purpose. As they arrived, an alarm went off.

“Incoming transmission,” the computer piped up.

“Eh, who from?” Zim asked, curious.

“It’s an automatic transmission sent to all soldiers out in the field. Would you like me to read it out loud?”

“Yes, get on with it!” The alien spoke impatiently.

“Ahem. ‘Irken soldier, you have been drafted to fight in the upcoming war. Failure to show up will result in your termination via a small legion of deadly drones.’ End transmission.”

“War? Who’s going to war with Irk? Wait—is it Vort? Dirty pathetic—”

“Wrong. Irk is going to war with.. itself.”

—-

“It’s over, we’re dead,” Purple sighed, slouching.

“You’ve been saying that for the past three hours,” his counterpart groaned. At the moment, they were back in their room on the Massive. Over the past couple of hours, word spread through all of Irk, and had gotten everyone riled up. They seemed to split into two groups; the irkens who pledged their undying loyalty to their leaders and would stand by their pledge to the end, and the irkens who viewed a damaged leader as a show of weakness to their entire race. Both groups were insanely prideful, and many fights have already broken out across Irk and the other planets their species inhabits.

“We could say that I tricked you as well, so you could continue to be Tallest,” Purple suggested, leaning back against the wall.

“But it was my idea,” Red practically whined, “I want the credit.”

“Hey, I helped!” The purple leader crossed his arms angrily.

“Yeah, we’re both geniuses,” Red concluded, and Purple nodded in agreement. 

“Y’know, they should reward us for pulling the biggest con this Empire has ever seen. If we weren’t so smart, nothing would happen! We’re such great leaders,” Purple started, before a Massive Pilot popped into the screen behind him, startling the leader. 

“Sirs, they’ve declared war. Irk is in civil war. Shall I send out the transmission to our field soldiers?”

“Sure, why not. Hey, and bring us more doughnuts!” Red shook the empty doughnut box in emphasis.

“Sirs, may I suggest you be a little more serious? This is war we’re talking about,” the pilot asked daringly. Red and Purple shared a glance.

“Are you defying our word?” Purple glared, crossing his arms again.

“Yeah, are you?” Red sneered, and the Pilot was unnerved at how dead serious they seemed.

“N-No Sirs!” The tone instantly lightened, and Red laughed.

“Good, because we were gonna have to terminate you otherwise. Now hurry up with those doughnuts!” Red switched off the screen, and turned to his counterpart.

“I think we handled that well.”

—-

“Computer, why is Irk in a civil war?” Zim asked, pacing around. 

“Analyzing… because of this,” the computer responded, bringing up the incriminating video that had been spreading across irkens like a wildfire. Zim stopped, looking at the screen in confusion.

“Huh?” Zim watched the video, quiet. When it finished, the irken narrowed his eyes.

“The Almighty Tallest lied.. Tallest Purple isn’t.. actually tall?” Zim started pacing again. _Almighty Tallest Red is still the tallest irken. Zim is still loyal to him! But.. if he helped Purple pull off the con.. or, even worse, if he planned it.. No, I won’t believe it! I’m loyal to my Tallest! I’m their best invader!_ Zim was pacing even faster now, for once in his life doubting his loyalty. _If they lied about this, what else have they lied about?_ The alien stopped abruptly as a thought sent chills down his spine.

“Did they lie about my mission?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. I didn’t proofread it either, as I’m posting around midnight and I’m very tired. Reviews are appreciated!


	7. Drones Imminent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is starting tomorrow for me, so I might not be able to update as fast as I’d like. I’m blown away by all the kudos this story is getting! Thank you all so much! Enjoy :)

“Will you be returning to Irk as per request?” The computer asked after 5 minutes of Zim laying silent on the ground. 

“Eh? No, no.. not until I call my Tallest and clarify,” the irken spoke.

“Presence request denied by master. Starting Protocol 402,” The computer spoke happily.

“What? What protocol is that?” Zim asked, sitting up.

“Drones imminent,” was the only answer before his entire base was plunged into darkness.

—-

Dib was sitting at his desk, researching paranormal sightings on his computer. Being a pro at finding which ones were doctored after years and years of extensive research, he concluded the Internet was full of BS and there hasn’t been one good sighting in years. _Why do I even bother with this anymore?_ Dib wondered, closing the tab he was on and searching up pranks he could pull on Zim. The internet held no good results, and he sighed, annoyed. _I could fake being dead,_ he thought, grinning slightly. Just as he thought of this, he heard a loud and fast knock on his door. 

“Diiiib! It’s Zim,” his sister called. _Perfect timing._ Instead of answering, he went to his closet and found some fake blood from his Halloween costume last year, smeared it on his face and shirt, and then laid on the ground, face down. Soon after, the door burst open. 

“Dib-stink, I need your help—” the irken started before looking down. “Eh?” He nudged Dib with his foot, and the boy tried so hard not to laugh.

“Human, this is no time to sleep,” the alien started, a tinge of worry in his voice. _I should probably see what he wants,_ Dib figured. _It’s not every day he asks me to help him._ Before he could reveal himself, however, he heard the alien sit on the ground next to him, his breathing picking up. Dib sat up to see the irken’s eyes closed shut, shaking slightly, fists clenched. _Was he having a panic attack? I didn’t know irkens could do that,_ Dib wondered, tapping Zim on the shoulder.

“Dude, I was faking it. See? Fake blood. I was getting you back for your dumb simulation thing,” Dib explained. Zim’s eyes opened slightly, and Dib realized he wasn’t wearing a disguise. Just a large hoodie over his usual uniform, the hood pulled up to hide his antennae and eyes from unsuspecting people. Dib frowned. _What was so important he couldn’t be bothered to put on a disguise?_

“I need help.. my base..” the irken started, trying to slow his breathing. Dib motioned for the alien to sit on his bed, which he did gladly. 

“Calm down. What happened?” Dib asked, realizing this was the perfect time to capture the alien on camera. He reached over to his desk for a second before stopping. _Let’s hear what he has to say first._

“I..” the irken took a deep breath. “I need your tech, pathetic human. My planet just declared civil war, and I, along with every other invader, was.. drafted, in your kind’s terms. I declined and they shut down my base and now they’re coming to kill me—”

“Hold up,” Dib stopped the irken, confused. “Why is Irk in a civil war?”

“Wouldn’t you want to know, filthy human garbage,” Zim sneered, bringing his knees to his chest. Dib facepalmed.

“If you need me to help, I gotta know what’s going on, Zim,” The boy explained, growing annoyed.

“All I need is a communications device to connect to my Tallest. They can call off the drones and clarify any.. doubts I have.”

“If I help you, you’ll go back to trying to destroy the Earth!” Dib reminded him. “Why should I do that?”

“If you don’t help me, I’ll be terminated, and we’ve established you can’t let that happen,” Zim retorted, and Dib narrowed his eyes.

“Fine. On one condition,” Dib spoke as he grabbed a device from the wall.

“What?”

“Let me listen in on the call.”

“What? No! My Tallest specifically request—” Dib started to put the device back. “—OKAY FINE!” The boy smiled innocently as he handed the alien his device and sat on the bed next to him. The irken scooted away from the boy slightly, glaring, before tuning the device and starting a call.

—-

“My Tallest, a you have a transmission from an unknown caller,” a pilot announced, and Red groaned.

“We’re busy!” Red spoke as he snatched a bag of chips out of Purple’s lap. 

“Sirs, with all due respect, it could be important,” the pilot reminded, and Purple looked at his counterpart.

“He’s right. We should probably see who it is,” Purple confirmed, sighing.

“Fine. Send it through,” Red ordered. An irken popped up on the screen, one the two had seen too many times.

“It is I, my Tallest! I have a few questions,” 

“Zim, we don’t have time—”

“Is my mission fake?” Zim asked, cutting off Purple. The two shared a glance.

“You.. Finally figured it out?” Red laughed. “This is the best news we’ve got all week!”

“Yeah,” Purple joined in, laughing. “We hate you, Zim. Of course your mission is fake! Why would we give a defect like you a real mission?”

“But, my Tallest—”

“Shut up and don’t ever call us again, Zim,” Purple sighed, cutting off the transmission. The two leaders looked to each other before cheering loudly. 

“FINALLY!”

—-

Zim stared at the blank screen, dumbfounded. Dib was astounded at what he learned. _Zim’s mission is fake? He wasn’t a threat after all?_ The boy looked at the alien, who was crying by the looks of it. 

“This isn’t another simulation, is it?” Dib asked, breaking the silence. Zim just shook his head silently. The boy hummed, grabbing the device out of the irken elite’s hands.

“What’s a defect?” Dib questioned as he put the device back, hoping the question wasn’t too offensive.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the irken hissed, avoiding eye contact. 

“Okay, uhh..” Dib looked at Zim, who was curled in a ball on his bed. 

“Your leaders are jerks.” Dib couldn’t help but feel bad now; the alien’s entire purpose was a lie.

“Silly..human…” Zim spoke, starting to cry.

“You said something about being terminated?” Dib asked, trying to change the subject. 

“Ah, yes. The drones should be here any minute. You should probably run away screaming,” Zim said quietly, shifting on the bed as if to get comfortable.

“But.. this is my house!” Dib said, indignant.

“Better get a new one, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Zim was super hard in this chapter, sorry if it sounds kinda out of character. Reviews are appreciated :)


	8. Finally Friends Maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is hell, sorry these updates might be shorter and spread father apart. I want to finish this soon before school becomes even worse. This chapter took so long to write, I’m just uploading it without proofreading. Sorry. Enjoy!

Dib sighed, scooping up the tiny alien from his bed. Zim didn’t fight back. _He’s really given up, huh,_ Dib concluded.

“Where’s your spaceship?” Dib asked, not really expecting a response.

“You can’t have it,” the alien spoke, his voice muffled. Dib looked down to see the irken elite pressed tightly against his chest. _This is the closest to friends we’ve ever been, and it’s because his leaders are gonna kill him and he’s terrified,_ Dib thought. _I can fix this. Everything can go back to the way it was before._

“Okay, listen. You’re not going to die by the hands of those jerkbags. I won’t let you, and you shouldn’t let you either. I _will_ carry you all the way to your house like a baby,” Dib threatened, and Zim pushed himself out of the boy’s clutch instantly. 

“I’m no human smeet,” The alien hissed, regaining his posture. “Fine. I guess we could attempt to break in to my base and get my Voot Cruiser, and I guess we could destroy the drones in an epic fight in space—”

“I didn’t say anything about fighting—”

“SILENCE! I’m making a plan! After destroying the drones we use their remains to send a signal back to the Massive to tell them that I’ve been terminated.” Zim was pacing back and forth, a hand to his chin. 

“Then they won’t come after you anymore, and you’d be safe here,” Dib concluded.

“Correct, stink-beast. In fact, I’d be safe anywhere the Irken Armada hasn’t conquered. I don’t even have to stay on this filthy planet,” Zim considered. Dib stayed silent, wondering if he could ever convince him to stick around. _Maybe he could teach me some things about space or something,_ Dib wondered. 

“But.. oh well, the great ZIM will deal with it when I get there. Come on, let’s go get my Voot. The drones will be here shortly,” the irken spoke, starting to march towards the door.

“Hold on. do you have a disguise other than that hoodie?” Dib asked as Zim pulled the hood over his antennae. 

“I didn’t have time to grab my usual disguise. Y’know, defense systems and all that.”

“WAIT. You didn’t say anything about defense systems! I thought it was shut down?” Zim shrugged, and Dib rolled his eyes, walking to his closet and pulling out various items he’s used to break in before. After putting it all in a bag, Dib looked out the window—to his surprise, it was nighttime. He handed Zim a flashlight, grabbed one of his own, and nodded.

“Let’s go.”

As they walked, Dib had one question on his mind. After a long internal battle, he concluded that even though the alien would most likely get mad at him, the worst he could do at this point is go off and get himself killed. It wasn’t ideal, but Dib _needed_ to know. 

“Zim, what’s a defect?” He asked, breaking the silence. 

“You have a big head, why don’t you figure it out,” Zim sneered. Dib sighed. 

“Sorry. I guess it’s like, the irken version of a slur, huh. I won’t mention it again.” The boy promised. After a few minutes of silence, Zim spoke up.

“It’s an Irken whose PAK is corrupted. They tend to act unpredictably and are classified as a danger to irken society. We—they—_I_ won’t be added to the collective when I die,” he explained, his voice uncharacteristically soft. 

“That’s.. horrible! You’re being punished for something you have no choice in! You were born like that.” He paused for a second. “Right?” The irken chuckled at the boy’s lack of knowledge.

“Me? I guess. Vary rarely does one’s PAK get corrupted after the bonding. I tend not to think of these things—I am ZIM, not a corrupted machine.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Dib nodded. “For what it’s worth, many humans go through the same thing.” Dib looked down. “Being different could get you in trouble, assaulted even. Some people would be happy to kill you if it was legal. They turn your existence into a stupid debate, even though you just want to exist. I guess this just happens, regardless of species.” Dib sighed. “As much as I wanted to save mankind, they’re all kind of jerks.” Zim just hummed in response; the rest of the trip was made in content silence.

They made it to Zim’s house easily; getting inside was another ordeal entirely. They sat in Dib’s bush as the boy planned.

“Your spaceship—a..uh.. boot?” Dib started.

“Voot. Voot Cruiser.” 

“Voot. It’s in the attic, right?” He waited for the alien’s nod before he continued. “We’ll take the left side entrance then. The first blind spots are here, here, here…” the boy pointed to separate locations on the map he had, but the alien was only half listening.

“Dib-stink,” Zim started, cutting off whatever Dib was talking about.

“What?”

“There’s something else I’d like to get from my base.” The irken was staring at the ground.

“What is it?” The boy asked, wondering what was so important.

“GIR. He’s no doubt shut down, probably permanently,” Zim looked up at the house, avoiding eye contact with Dib. “I’d just like his body. There’s a chance I could get him to work again.” The alien was oddly quiet while he spoke, something that he not often did. Dib knew that the robot meant a lot to Zim, even if he didn’t show it.

“We’ll get him,” the boy promised. The alien nodded, and Dib took the opportunity to continue planning.

“Is the Voot Cruiser anything like Tak’s ship? If I could get it to start, you could search for GIR, assuming you don’t know his location.”

“I don’t.”

“Figured. I never got a chance to document the lower levels of your base, so you’ll have to go for him.” Dib pulled up the blueprints he’d managed to create from the times he’s infiltrated before.

“Alright, and you’ll get my ship ready. Starting it is fairly easy; luckily I’ve repaired it since last time,” the irken elite spoke, the boy looking over with a confused glance.

“What happened last time?”

“Eh, that’s a story for another day,” Zim chuckled. 

“Alright.. let’s go rob your house!” Dib said confidently, holding up a fist. Zim fist bumped him, grinning. Both of them had the same thought on their mind.

_He’s a surprisingly great friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was Dib referencing when he empathizing with Zim about being defective? I personally like to think that he’s a clone of Professor Membrane, and most humans don’t think clones are ethical or right, and even though know one knows he hears it all the time on the news and stuff and gets anxious. I also enjoy the Dib is trans headcanon but it will not be in this fic (possibly one for the future however! who knows). Anyway, this is getting too long. Hope you enjoyed!


	9. Mission: Impossible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guy. I’m so sorry. I haven’t uploaded forever. School is absolutely hell, and it’s hectic at my job right now. To top it all off, I have insane writers block. You’d think hours upon hours of putting fortunes in fortune cookies would give you some time to plan some chapters. This chapter isn’t even 1000 words, which was my goal. I’ve failed y’all. I’ll try to finish this fic soon because I DO want to write a trans Dib fic, but I dunno when that’ll be. Enjoy this terrible chapter, I guess.

Once in the base, they split up instantly. The irken went into the lower levels to find GIR and hopefully shut off the security, leaving the human to work on disconnecting the ship and starting it up, then opening the house manually. Zim knew his security system inside and out; he purposefully programmed a few blind spots for this case. They changed depending on what position his home planet, Irk, was in, which made it too hard for his human nemesis to find out the pattern. It was one of the handful of plans the irken had made that the Tallest were mildly impressed with. 

Zim got in easily; making his way towards the labs where he saw GIR last. The labs were dark and silent, which unnerved the alien. Usually a faint white noise echoed through this chamber, and sometimes louder machines would whir and click. He glanced around, trying to find his robot. _I can’t believe the filthy human would actually help me,_ The irken thought as he continued his search, narrowly evading each and every piece of security with his PAK legs. _It’s not like he cares about me personally. His inferior human mind just used me to justify himself._ He stopped, waiting for the next blind spot to open.

_Perhaps I, too, have been dependent on the human,_ the irken considered. _He’s the only challenge on this disgusting dirtball. Wait, what am I saying?! An invader shouldn’t be dependent on his enemy!_ He sighed, finally spotting the little robot’s body. _Perhaps I really am def—not an invader._ As he scanned the area to change his thought’s subject realized the placement of GIR was right in the open; no blind spots to reach him. 

“Even shut down you make things harder for me, GIR,” the alien sighed, bringing up a communications system on his wrist.

“Dib-stink! Change of plans. Grabbing GIR will trip the alarms. Start the Voot and bring it up into the atmosphere. Crash into a wall to get it out, I don’t care. I’ll grab GIR and make a run for it,” Zim explained, hoping his PAK legs could run fast enough.

“No, that’s crazy!” Dib’s voice rang out into the shut down labs, and the irken was glad there was no sound detection in his base’s emergency security. “I’ll wait for you up here.”

“You’ll die, human idiot! Trust me.” Zim spat, getting angry. _Why wouldn’t the human just listen?_

“I’ve never trusted you with anything in my entire life!” Dib yelled, and the alien winced. 

“Fine. See if I care. I’m tripping the alarms in 3..” he gulped, bracing himself.

“2..” he could hear the Voot’s engines start up from his communications system. _Perhaps he would follow my plan after all._

“..1!”

—-

Red was pacing around the room, his counterpart relaxing on the bed with a pack of jelly beans. The two weren’t saying anything, but they knew both were terrified of what was going to happen. They were expecting a video meeting with the rebellion of Irk’s hastily elected Tallest, Kas. From then on, they were sure they were to be re-encoded, perhaps even terminated. 

“No matter what happens,” Purple started, grinning slightly, “At least we’ll be widely known in Irken history.” 

“Yeah,” Red responded, eyes lighting up. “Even if they shut us off from the collective, this is the most controversial topic in all of the Irken Empire right now! They can’t erase all memories of us.”

“Maybe they’ll even give us an Existence Evaluation so everyone gets to see how brilliant our plan was!” Purple stuffed more jelly beans into his mouth, chewing happily.

“Nah, they’ll probably just terminate us,” Red chuckled. “An Existence Evaluation would be great, though. We’ve ordered so many.. I wonder what it would be like.”

—-

When the alien had grabbed GIR, he didn’t really expect to make it out. He had just grabbed the robot’s body and curled in a ball, clutching it tightly as he allowed his PAK legs to bring him to safety. If they didn’t, well, it wouldn’t be his problem anymore, and he was fine with that. He did, however, make it out in one piece, and he slammed himself into the Voot as Dib instantly took off, smashing a hole through the house. 

After a minute of Dib trying to keep the Voot steady, the alien un-curled himself and pressed a button, engaging his ship’s autopilot. The two sat in silence, trying to process the maneuver they just pulled. _I broke into an alien base,_ Dib thought. _I’m in an alien spaceship with an alien right now._ It’s been years, but this thought still baffled him to this day. He’s seen so much more than any normal human. _What’s going to happen to Zim now? He can’t go back to Irk. Will he stay here?_ Dib didn’t want to admit it, but as much as Zim was a nuisance to him, he didn’t want the alien to leave. 

“What’s gonna happen now?” Dib piped up, shifting in the pilot’s seat. Zim slouched in the back, cradling his shut down robot. 

“I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t proofread it. Sorry. I dunno when the next chapter will be, hopefully by next week. Hope you enjoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> 5 kudos-per-chapter rule until finished unless otherwise posted. Enjoy!


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